Family
by JPsmiles
Summary: A what happened instead for the ending of the episode Family Reunion.


"He wasn't your father."

Murdock's words hit Face harder than any fist ever had, forcing the air from his lungs and sending him reeling backwards. His back hit the van and he collapsed against it.

"You okay?" Murdock asked.

Face nodded yes, but his entire visage screamed no. His knees felt weak and he slid his body down until he was sitting on the ground.

Murdock looked down at his feet silently cursing himself for ever saying anything to Face about this whole Bancroft mess. Ironically, less than 48 hours earlier, he was beating himself up for not telling Face sooner. It was a no win situation, and either way Face was the loser. Not knowing what to say, he said the only thing he could, "I'm sorry."

"S'okay," Face said. They both knew it wasn't.

Face paused, trying to choose his next words carefully. He didn't want Murdock to think he was still angry with him. He had been furious at first. The idea that his best friend had cost him the opportunity to get to know his father was too much for him to take.

He snapped. And when he pushed Murdock to the ground, it took every ounce of his strength to hold himself back from doing more.

It wasn't until Face was lying in bed that night that he realized that it wasn't Murdock he was really upset with. He was merely a messenger that had been put in an impossible situation. And it wasn't fair to shoot the messenger.

"Do you think I could be alone for a little while?" Face asked. Murdock nodded his head, but Face could see the sadness in his eyes. "I just need some time to think…to clear my head."

"If you can figure out how to do that, maybe you can teach me. It's getting way too crowded up in my own noggin' lately," Murdock tried to joke. "Take as much time as you need, Faceguy. I'll hitch a ride back with Ellen." He stepped forward, squeezed Face's shoulder, and looked him in the eye. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah," Face said hoarsely and then cleared his throat trying to cover up the emotion. He wanted to keep it together until at least after Murdock was gone.

Murdock gave Face's shoulder one more squeeze before heading toward Ellen who was moving in their direction. He intercepted her before she was close enough to the van to detect that anything was wrong and explained that Face had some last minute errands to run for the team before they headed back to Los Angeles. Ellen gave Face a wave before turning toward her car with Murdock in tow.

He sat leaning against the van for a long time trying to sort out his feelings. He thought he should be relieved; the way things turned out nothing had really changed. However, relief was usually accompanied by an increased ability to breathe properly. And now his chest felt tight and there was a lump in his throat obstructing the way.

Perhaps, more had changed than Face wanted to admit. He had opened up a part of himself that he had tried to close up a long time ago; the part that dreamed he would find his real family some day. And, even though A.J. Bancroft would not have been his first choice, at least he would have known who his father was. For almost a day he finally knew who he was…at least he thought he did…and with that knowledge came some peace.

But now the peace was gone and replaced by…by what? He couldn't put his finger on the exact feeling, but whatever it was, it hurt. He ached all over and there was nothing he could do about it. He almost wished he could cry; maybe it would help him get rid of some of the pain that was trapped inside of him.

But he didn't cry...the tears stopped flowing a long time ago. Instead he held everything in and, to those on the outside, everything looked okay. They didn't call him Face for nothing.

Face sat there until the sky started to darken and the cool fall air shook him back to reality. The ride back to the cabin was a long one; he drove extra slow trying to delay the inevitable. He knew he had to face the guys sometime, but he would have given anything to keep driving a while longer. He took a deep breath, schooled his features, and stepped inside.

"S'about time you got back with my van, sucker!"

"Sorry, B.A., I lost track of time," Face said tossing the keys to B.A.

"And I'm about to lose track of my fist."

"Look B.A., I said I was sorry."

"You will be if you ever do that again."

Face could feel his anger rising. "Geez, B.A. Give it a rest, would ya?"

B.A. grabbed Face's arm and roughly twisted it behind his back. "You want to say that to me again, fool?"

Hannibal and Murdock sat watching not quite sure whether or not to step in. It was like watching a tennis match...back and forth…back and forth.

"What, you hard of hearing?" Face grunted as B.A. jerked his arm harder, but he wasn't about to give in. "I said, give it a rest!"

"I thought that's what you said," B.A. snarled maintaining his grip on the con-man.

Murdock started to move toward the dueling pair; he could see where this was headed and it wasn't good. Hannibal reached out and pulled Murdock back. Over the years he had learned that sometimes it was best to let his boys fight without interfering. He knew that something wasn't right with Face, and maybe this would be the only way he would find out. He just hoped the truth would come out before B.A. broke his opponent's arm.

Face could feel himself trembling. The combination of pain, anger, and adrenaline was now driving his actions. With his free arm he elbowed B.A. sharply causing the big guy to double over and let go. "Look, I've had a bad couple of days," he said rubbing his arm. "Your precious van was not exactly at the top of my priority list."

B.A. stood up slowly still trying to catch his breath. "You ain't had it any rougher than the rest of us, Faceman."

"Oh yeah? So did Murdock tell you that A.J. Bancroft was your father yesterday? And did Stockwell confirm that he wasn't this morning?" Face closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. He hadn't wanted it to come out that way; he wasn't sure he wanted it to ever come out at all.

Murdock groaned, Hannibal gaped and B.A. demanded, "what you talkin' about, man?"

Face didn't trust himself to answer the question without getting emotional. He looked pleadingly at Murdock who knew that was his cue to fill the others in. Face kept his eyes focused on the floor until Murdock stopped talking. He looked up at his friends and ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to figure out where to go from here.

"Face…I…uh," B.A. stuttered, suddenly feeling very small.

Face held up a hand. "It's okay. I'm okay," he said more to convince himself than the others. When he saw the other three looking back at him with the raised eyebrows of doubt, he exhaled sharply and let his shoulders sag. "Alright, I will be okay with some time," he paused and winced as he moved his shoulder, "and some pain killers."

"Sorry, man…I shouldn't have grabbed you like that." B.A. grinned sheepishly. "Damn, I really put my foot in my mouth, didn't I?"

"Sure did, you big angry mudsucker. How do those size 14 sneakers taste?" Murdock teased, slapping B.A. playfully on the back.

B.A. growled before threatening. "I can arrange for you to find out, crazy man."

"No thanks…I prefer the taste of loafers," he retorted running away from B.A. who took chase after him.

Hannibal noticed on genuine smile on his Lieutenant's face. It wasn't much, but at least it was a start. He put his arm around the younger man and said, "you know you already have a family, kid."

Face nodded his head in agreement and leaned ever so slightly against the man he considered to be a father. Hannibal's heart swelled at the rare show of affection.

They stood unmoving for a couple of moments until Murdock yelped as B.A. grabbed him by the collar of his bomber jacket.

"You have a family all right," Hannibal sighed, "a family complete with one hell of a handsome dad who is about to ground your two delinquent brothers."

The End


End file.
